It’s not about searching for the moment. It’s about recognizing the moment when it happens. Recognize and remember. Most people spend more time searching for the moments than finding them. In order to find these moments, the door has to be open. If the door is not open to find these moments you might walk right by them.
As you can imagine, the first few months there was nothing listed. Downloading an app doesn’t make things happen. Being open to new things that let you access positive aspects of yourself can allow things to happen but it doesn’t make things happen either.
The app would catch my eye every now and then but it wasn’t something I actively sought to work on. Nothing sucks the fun out of fun like making it a job or a goal. The app would come up when I was debating deleting other apps.
Somehow there are over 200 apps on the phone but only about 10 to 15 of them are ever really used. Much like that closet and the basement, the thought process is, “I can’t throw this out. I’m sure I’ll use it one day”.
Most of the apps are copies of other apps. There’s an app for Word. There’s an app for Docs. There’s an app for Pages. This is all funny as hell to me because I use Notes. There are whole suites of each eco system. The spreadsheet, the presenter, the note taker. There should be a forehead slapper app that pops up and says “Hey, do you really need ANOTHER one of these?” and then takes a picture of your face while you look incredulously at the screen.
I remember losing a sock. It was a color-coded sock. It matched one of my outfits just right. I searched high and low for this sock. I looked on the stairs. I looked under the bed. I looked behind the washer. I looked behind the dryer. I looked between the washer and the dryer. I could not find this sock to save my soul. I was convinced that the dryer had slipped it into witness protection.
I opted not to wear the outfit for two weeks because I couldn’t wear it the way I wanted to wear it. On the third week I was headed out and said “You know what? Screw this. I’m just going to wear it with some similar socks. No one will know. I’m just being a crybaby. How can you suggest other people be open to things when you are whining, bitching, and moaning about a pair of socks.”
I let it go. When I went to put the sweater on the sleeve was blocked. The dryer sheet had wedged itself in the sleeve and trapped the sock in with it. I almost broke my ankle dancing around the bedroom. It was too simple to share. I felt like a crazy person because I was so happy. That’s when I remembered the happy app.
I wasn’t searching for a moment. I had let it go. In letting it go; I found the moment I was looking for. Shoulders dropped. Deep breath released. Recognized and remembered.
