What Type of Man (Part II) - Exchange Rate

     In March of 2003 I was a different man.  The plans had changed significantly for the first time.  I had gone from a universal know it all to a dimly lit star in the corner of the cosmos.  Everything I fundamentally believed in had been shaken.
     The path at that time was so overgrown it couldn't be seen.  Since I wasn't able to escape to Manhattan to start the life I wanted I had taken to "Doing Dirt in the Distance".  Montreal was just a short four hour drive away and the exchange rate was so very good.
     I had found six blocks in the city where I could eat, sleep, drink, meet beautiful women and lose myself.  Tomorrow didn't exist.  It didn't need to exist.  It was the getaway for when things had gotten away.  That night was different.
     I arrived at The Yard at 7:45.  The plan was to meet Jules and her friend, have a quick drink, then get home and get some sleep.  As routine as I was trying to make the night there was a tinge of excitement.  I hadn't been set up on a date in a while.
     Much to my surprise Jules was already there.  Her shift had let out early and she had stopped by for a quick dinner.
     "Hey, buddy," she said standing up to give me a hug.  "You look nice.  I like the suit."
     "Thank you.  I hope your friend likes it, too."  I said feeling the slick smile cut across my face.
     'I need you to be nice to her."
     "What do you mean?" I asked feeling a stiffening of my spine.  "I'm always nice."
     "I don't need you to be 'asshole' nice.  I need you to be 'you' nice.  If she just needed someone to be 'asshole' nice I would just introduce her to anyone here.  She needs you to be you with her and not use it against her."
     "What..." I started.
     "I need you to be good to her.  I need you to be good to her like you were good to Caitlin."
     My heart skipped a beat.
     "What happened to her?"  I whispered feeling the floor shift beneath my feet.  Caitlin's name had caught me off guard.
     "If she trusts you," she said touching my cheek, "she'll tell you."
     I felt a wave of awareness.  I realized that my home was just a short thirty minute drive away.  I was so close it would be almost impossible to lose myself.  Tomorrow needed to exist.
     I sat and thought about the last trip to Montreal while Jules finished her dinner.  I thought about the freedom it had to offer.
     "Hey, Jules," I heard a voice chime from behind me.
     "She's here," said Jules standing to hug her.
     Beneath the curly brunette hair and the beautiful eyes was the biggest, prettiest smile I had seen in years.  I felt my spine relax.  Suddenly the path didn't seem so overgrown.  Montreal seemed far away and the local exchange rate was looking pretty damn good.
   

Travel Restrictions

     "You're taking all of this pretty well," said Tony.  He had stopped by to see how I was doing.  Amber's friend Tessa had been asking about me.  He had suggested a double date.  I was flattered but I also had socks older than she was.  

     "Most of the people I know who have been let go threaten to sue.  You seem relaxed."

     "I am at peace," I said with my legs up on my ottoman.  "I knew this was coming for about a year."

     He was the second person to have stopped by my house since they let me go.  I was only leaving the house for interviews, groceries, and Mom visits.  I had set up travel restrictions.

     The restrictions were based on a thought my Dad had about funerals.  His thought process was if you don't take the time to call or write while I'm alive why bother coming to the funeral?  At that point you are just coming to hang out with friends.

     My reasoning was similar but different.  If you aren't going to take time to make time neither am I.

     A "friend"  happened to mention they were going to be in the general area.  I suggested we get together for coffee/sushi/wings.  Their response was "Oh I'm sorry.  I'm just in to see friends and family".  There was an awkward pause as we both realized what was just said.

     "Maybe next time," I suggested, knowing there would never be a next time.

     Another friend would always call just before they were leaving town.  "We can hang out," they would say, "but I only have 15 minutes.". The third time this happened I was busy.

     "Hey," I said, "let me know when you're coming in to town next time so we can plan better."  There was another awkward pause.  Up to this point there hasn't been a next time.

     My travel restrictions are more prohibitive than the TSA.

     "The firing," he said snapping me back to the moment, "you knew this was coming?"

     "Yes, yes I did."

     "How are you at peace?  After being there for 10 years how are you not angry?"

     I thought about my poor kitty.  I thought about the travel restrictions.  I thought about what it was like to no longer be in a situation where you knew you weren't wanted.  I thought of this as a step in the right direction.

     "I am at peace with myself."  I answered.  "It feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my chest.  I can breathe again.  It's like when a bad relationship ends and you realize that there is so much better out there."

     "I can put in a good word for you at my company."

     "Thanks, man," I said preparing to engage in some deep chair sitting.

     "And Tessa.  She really wants to see you again.  She keeps asking Amber when is the 'Suit Guy' coming back to the bar."

     "She's not 35 yet is she?"

     He laughed a pleasantly amused laugh.

     "Hell no."

     I smiled.  Maybe it was time to try hanging out with someone who wanted to hang out with me.