Travel Restrictions

     "You're taking all of this pretty well," said Tony.  He had stopped by to see how I was doing.  Amber's friend Tessa had been asking about me.  He had suggested a double date.  I was flattered but I also had socks older than she was.  

     "Most of the people I know who have been let go threaten to sue.  You seem relaxed."

     "I am at peace," I said with my legs up on my ottoman.  "I knew this was coming for about a year."

     He was the second person to have stopped by my house since they let me go.  I was only leaving the house for interviews, groceries, and Mom visits.  I had set up travel restrictions.

     The restrictions were based on a thought my Dad had about funerals.  His thought process was if you don't take the time to call or write while I'm alive why bother coming to the funeral?  At that point you are just coming to hang out with friends.

     My reasoning was similar but different.  If you aren't going to take time to make time neither am I.

     A "friend"  happened to mention they were going to be in the general area.  I suggested we get together for coffee/sushi/wings.  Their response was "Oh I'm sorry.  I'm just in to see friends and family".  There was an awkward pause as we both realized what was just said.

     "Maybe next time," I suggested, knowing there would never be a next time.

     Another friend would always call just before they were leaving town.  "We can hang out," they would say, "but I only have 15 minutes.". The third time this happened I was busy.

     "Hey," I said, "let me know when you're coming in to town next time so we can plan better."  There was another awkward pause.  Up to this point there hasn't been a next time.

     My travel restrictions are more prohibitive than the TSA.

     "The firing," he said snapping me back to the moment, "you knew this was coming?"

     "Yes, yes I did."

     "How are you at peace?  After being there for 10 years how are you not angry?"

     I thought about my poor kitty.  I thought about the travel restrictions.  I thought about what it was like to no longer be in a situation where you knew you weren't wanted.  I thought of this as a step in the right direction.

     "I am at peace with myself."  I answered.  "It feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my chest.  I can breathe again.  It's like when a bad relationship ends and you realize that there is so much better out there."

     "I can put in a good word for you at my company."

     "Thanks, man," I said preparing to engage in some deep chair sitting.

     "And Tessa.  She really wants to see you again.  She keeps asking Amber when is the 'Suit Guy' coming back to the bar."

     "She's not 35 yet is she?"

     He laughed a pleasantly amused laugh.

     "Hell no."

     I smiled.  Maybe it was time to try hanging out with someone who wanted to hang out with me.