The Consultant

      I have reached the age of relationship retirement. It’s been years and years and years. I have put in my 30+ years of trial and error. It is now time for me to be a consultant.

     I have given my heart and soul. I have given my time and effort. I have earned my golden cock ring. I no longer have the interest or the energy in trying to make somebody happy for the rest of “our” lives when that other person believes they deserve or they actually deserve better.

     I am no longer interested in dating people who have one eye open waiting for the next best thing. I’ve been hibernating on and off for the last 20+ years. I take this time to find out who I am and what I need.  Every time I come out I find people just as lost as I was when I went in but not willing to do anything about it but complain. These are people who don’t take time to find out who they are and what they want.  They will take a lifetime trying to find out who they are through the eyes of other people but won’t take 15 minutes do a little self reflection.

     I just don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to be the one who fixes broken toys for other people to play with. I don’t want to sit across the table from somebody who is obviously looking for a piece of themselves in you. I once again declare my retirement.

     I will offer my consulting experience.  30+ years of dating with varying results should be put to use.  I don’t want to just watch things fall apart.  It’s time to try to make the world a better place.  I will mainly show myself as a cautionary tale.  Maybe I’ll call it “Cautionary Companion Consulting” or maybe I won’t.

     This is not some ‘Player’s Guide to Success’.  Those books are all trash.  All the players you know are currently breaking someone’s heart.  If they aren’t breaking other peoples hearts they aren’t acknowledging their own empty hearts and broken lives.  30+ years of experience will help you recognize things.  I remember when I was younger a woman called me a player.  The irony was she was married and didn’t want to date me because she was already sleeping with someone else.

     Most players are complicit in their own self deception.  The only reason they are ‘successful’ is that no one says anything.  This is the life that marketing has told them they are supposed to lead.  Don’t doubt the strength of the ‘CouchSpirAssy’.

     Will I still wear the golden cock ring?  Provided a full and healthy conversation has been had and both parties are in agreement, possibly.  Am I planning for a forever?  No.  Will I fight forever if it seems inevitable, also no.  Though I’m no longer fixing broken toys for other people to play with, I will share the instructions and the blueprints that have worked for me in the past.  It’s amazing the repair techniques you learn by being the most broken toy in the box.