Monday, November 11, 2019

Mind Full

     The bar was unusually full.  I always try to avoid the bar when it is this full.  This was different.  Tonight felt strange.  I felt compelled to be there.  It had been a while.  The bottles behind the bar looked like they had been rearranged.  The mirror was frosted.  My favorite bartender wasn’t working.
     I slowly looked around to see who was out tonight.  Initially it was a sea of blank faces but as the fog faded everything started falling into place.  I saw Stotler, Paris, and Caitlin each sitting alone at small tables in the corners of the dining area.  The kid was there running back and forth between the parking lot and the kitchen.
     Kiki was standing in line waiting for the bathroom.  V was laughing with a friend whose face I couldn’t quite make out.  Terry was with her little one looking out the window while her husband parked the car.    
     D was settling up her check.  She had quietly paid everyone’s bar tab and was slipping out the side door before anyone knew what happened.  Tony and Amber were talking in a corner near a waterfall.  Their conversation was still light and airy.  Tessa waved from the next booth.  There were two drinks on her table.  Was one for me?
     I looked back to the mirror but it was still frosted.  I looked to the left and saw Linda and the current love of her life finally exchanging keys to the new apartment.  I looked to the right and saw Tony’s ex-wife Karen talking to Derich’s current wife Karen.  They were drinking what looked like cosmos and laughing with abandon.
     I realized I could see almost everyone but myself.  As I turned to do a final scan of the bar I saw her.  She still had a statuesque Victorian quality.   Her curls were pulled back into a rushed bun.  Her baby blues were sad with truth.
     “Marrianne!”  I almost fell off my stool.  “How are you?  I’ve been trying to...”
     “You poor broken man you,” she interrupted.  She touched my bearded cheek.  “It’s not hibernation, yet.  What are you doing here?  What’s this thing on your face?”
     I looked deep into her eyes and saw the reflection I had been longing to see in the mirror.
     “I...I,” hot tears started to well in my eyes.  “I got distracted,” I whispered.
     “It’s time to go,” I heard my father’s voice cut through the crowd.  Just as I saw his face clearly, the alarm went off waking me from the dream.
     “How the hell does this keep happening?”  I asked myself as I checked my phone.  I had missed another call from Marrianne.  It was the fourth miss this  month and the second miss this week.  No voicemail just a missed call.
     “Hey, kid.  I just missed you,” I started, happy that the voicemail finally was taking messages.  “What’s going on?  It’s been a while.  Call me.”  
Everything still felt strange.  My mind was unusually full.  I always try to avoid things when my mind is this full.

No comments:

Post a Comment