First Right of Refusal

     “That’s a bit much,” I said sitting with my blue cloth mask on.  Everyone had this strange habit.  They would walk into a bar or restaurant with a mask on, sit down, and immediately take the mask off.  It’s like they think ‘It won’t bother me while I’m eating.’

     Karen was out and about for the first time in over a year.  Since our video call she was almost placed on a ventilator but at the last moment something in the universe clicked and her breathing became manageable.  It had been a shitty few months.  Tony and Amber went from a May December romance to a man dating a woman who was younger than his daughter.

     “This woman I work with built a gym in her house.  She can’t wait for the world to open up so she can get back to it.  I think she’s going for a revenge body.”

     Karen showed me a moderately attractive woman in her mid 40’s with a few before and after pictures.  The caption on her twit/face/insta/space read ‘How it started.  How it’s going.’  To her credit she had made a significant body change.  She just didn’t seem like she was enjoying it.

     Don’t get me wrong no one truly enjoys the process.  Most people love the results but the process is typically loathed.

     “Maybe she’s going for first right of refusal,” I offered while we watched people pile back into the restaurant.  “I’m glad we chose to sit outside.”

     “Me. Too.  BUT it would be nice if our waitress remembered we were out here.”  

     “True.”  I checked my watch.  It had been 10 minutes.

     “What the hell is first right of refusal?” Karen asked.  Her eyebrows furrowed.

     “So, a few years ago,” I started, “I was more out of shape than I am now.  I started eating better, drinking more water, getting more sleep and even doing yoga.”

     “Fuck yoga.”

     “I felt the same way but,” I said wagging my finger, “it worked.”

     “I got it.  You were in better shape.”

     “No.  I got noticed!  Better shape was a byproduct.  I was in good shape for a few years.  What that gave me was the confidence to make choices.  I got to choose.  I got to refuse.  It was a wonderful feeling. Getting noticed is good.”

     “Well maybe you could do some yoga now and get us noticed by our waitress.

     “That might be a bit much.”