The next few weeks slowly started to unravel. I became the employee I hated. I was forgetful, distracted, and on occasion, late. JP was right. Why was I going out of my way to prove myself to people who didn't want to respect me?
Everything came to a head one night.
"Have you done that?" I think I asked again.
"Please don't do this to yourself," I could hear the stern pleading in V's voice.
"Have you gone back to that moment? I mean the moment where you think you made the wrong decision? I have. I do it all the time." I picked up the wine glass and tipped the stem to the ceiling. The red didn't even have flavor anymore. I could feel it making its way into my system to join the rest of the bottle.
Every once in a while there is a day where no matter what you do you're done. Every movement boxes you into a corner. Every attempt to make things right comes up short.
The clock can't tick fast enough and the day can't end soon enough. Even the machines were tired of hammering relentlessly. The grinding metal cacophony had finally reached its fever pitch and had pulled back to a steady hum.
I closed my eyes and let the last glass hit me like a wave.
"Thank you," I heard myself say. "Thank you for coming to pick me up." I extended my hand to shake hers. I heard the empty wine glass clink against the bar in the distance. Luckily the glass didn't break. If only my resolve could have been that strong.
My hand hung in the air.
"I didn't give you my business card for some drunk hook up," she seethed.
"I didn't call you to hook up." I did the slow motion face wipe. There were a few goals. The number one was to keep it together. The number two goal was to not puke on myself. The number three goal was to not wake up on my front porch in my underwear.
"I just need to talk to someone who has had a bit of distance. I know it might not seem like it right now but I have a plan and I need to run it by someone."
"Ok," V said rolling her eyes, "but you can tell me while I drive you home."
"Deal," I said.
Over the drive home I explained how the last few weeks slowly unraveled the grand plan.
No comments:
Post a Comment