If you go into a new job that has all the things that you want and need you may still fail if you mind isn’t in the right spot.
The job wasn’t the problem.
The phone was a problem but it wasn’t the problem.
The drive was a problem but it wasn’t the problem. The problem was me. I had worked commission jobs before but I hadn’t worked a commission ONLY job.
Initially there was a stipend to get you on your feet but that was gone. We were moving into sink or swim territory. I had just started treading water and my body was already tired.
I used to love driving. I learned to loathe it. I had gotten used to filling my gas tank once a month. Now I was filling it once every four days. There was an accident every other day on the highway.
It was like people intentionally tried to pass at the most inconvenient times. People treated the passing lane as their personal 70 mph riding lane. Entrances and exits were located in strange places.
The other highway option, used mainly when there were multi car pile ups, was essentially a 2 lane dirt road. Deer were on the side of the road just waiting for their moment to jump.
There was no public transit that made it easy to get from one town to another. The train, bus, walk situation took three hours if everything went according to plan and there were no incidents. The cost was $20 per day.
I also had offsite meetings with clients that would require travel so relying on unreliable transit wouldn’t have worked in my favor.
As mentioned before the walk from the lot I parked in was 15 minutes from the office. There were a few closer lots but as you got closer to the office the prices went up.
The lot I chose to park in was $60 per month. The lot a block closer was $85. The parking lot across the street from the office was $220. None of them had guaranteed parking so it you showed up a bit later in the morning you could ride the lot for 30 minutes hoping for someone to leave.
The phone was dying. It’s time had come it I was in desperate need of a change. I just didn’t want to change. It fit all my needs perfectly, when it worked. It fit my hand just right. All the previous cases still fit this phone. The chargers hadn’t changed yet.
It’s predictability was at an all time low. There was a quick fix. Just get a new phone. I was hoping to run into Grocery Girl. The reason we always bumped into each other at the grocery store was because she ran the cell phone store next door. I was hoping she could hook me up with some type of fix or help with pricing on a new phone.
Of all of these the main problem was me. I was in desperate need of stability. I just didn’t want to change. My predictability was at an all time high. I had learned to loathe. I was an accident waiting to happen and the exit to get off this crazy highway was in a strange place. My mind wasn’t in the right spot and I was hurtling towards failure. Exhaustion was settling in and I wasn’t even in the deep end, yet.
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