Kare-Bear

     “I can sort of see their points but I agree with Marrianne and ‘Grocery Girl’s’ husbands.  I probably would have slept with you up until I had Teresa.”

     Karen, for the first time in a long time, caught me off guard.

     “I’m sorry.  I don’t even know how to process that last sentence.  Teresa’s what, 23?”

     “Yes, something like that.”

     “I’m just completely floored.”

     “I remember the first night I met you.  You were in a suit, mid tirade about something, and the bar was closing so we, meaning Tony, invited everybody back to the apartment for a few more drinks.  You drove because you weren’t drinking at the time.”

     “Ah yes the years of being the designated driver, I remember that.”

     “Anyway, somebody cut you off and a string of profanity came out of your mouth that would have embarrassed a sailor.  You then turned to me, calmly introduced yourself, and asked if it was ok to smoke in your own car.  You went from a grizzly bear to a pussy cat in the blink of an eye.

     “After listening to you yell through the window I was scared to say no but when I said I had asthma you put your cigarette away.”

     “Don’t remember it but that sounds about right.”

     “THEN after we ate you washed the dishes!  I think I made a joke about kicking Tony out and keeping you around.”

     “Now that’s funny shit.  I had no idea.  I always saw you as Karen and Tony.”

     “You called me Kare-Bear.  You told me I looked like that girl from that tv show that everyone thought was...”

     “Topanga.  I mean you’re all a bit younger than me.  I was kind of a Wonder Years Guy for a while but I remember the Topanga years.  Kare-Bear stuck.”

     “Every once in a while Teresa will still call me Kare-Bear.”

     “Oh YES!  Kare-Bear and Tare-Bear.”

     “When you met Connie everything changed.  You weren’t around that much.  After her there was the Paris thing and then that crazy girl with the little red car, and Anna.”

     I took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling.  

     “The Connie thing hurt.”  I ignored the rest of the names.  “That’s one of the reasons I won’t date Tessa.  That, her name sounds like Teresa, AND they’re about the same age.  Speaking of Teri, what would she do if I called her Tare-Bear?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

    “She’d lose her mind,” she laughed.  “Did you ever think about having kids of your own?”  She asked, pulling the focus right back.

     “It was the great goal.  I just never thought I had my shit together. Up until recently I always thought there would be more time.”

     I looked quietly from Karen’s eyes to the floor.

     “Look at me, I haven’t even made time to get to the store to get a new phone.”  I pulled the phone out of my pocket and pressed the home button to see if it was still charged.  Surprisingly it was.

     “Well now speaking of time, I have to kick you out,” she said standing and stretching.  “I have another day of meetings and you have to make an appointment to get a new phone.”

     She walked me to the door and gave me a big hug good night.

     “That’s why I called you Kare-Bear.  I could never figure out how someone with such little arms could give such big hugs!”

     “Go home,” she said closing the screen door.  “Text me when you get there to let me know you got home safe.”

     “Ok, Mom,” I yelled over my shoulder.

     “The friendship comes first.”  I said as I got to my car door.  “That’s why we can still hang out and watch a movie on a Tuesday.  I haven’t talked to Connie in almost 20 years.  I haven’t seen Paris in 5.  The crazy girl drives a different color car.  Anna doesn’t text me when she’s in town any more.  It’s like every time I really try to hold on to something it just slips through my fingers.

     “Tare-Bear still calls you Kare-Bear and I currently don’t smoke in my car.  The friendship comes first.”

     I could still see her standing in the doorway as I drove out of the parking lot.