Phone Time

     “How much time do you typically spend on your phone?”  I asked.

     “Where in the hell are all of these questions coming from?”  Tony asked with a cheek full of wings.

     “I’m just curious.  Maybe it’s this new phone but I was on this thing for 5 hours the other day!”

     “That seems like a bit much.”

     “I know, right?”

     “Did you use any of that time to narrow down your contact list?”

     “You know I thought about that.”

     “And?”

     “AND if I ever do write a book or put out new music I can use that contact list to let people know what’s going on.  I’m actually expanding on it. 

     “I’m also reaching out to see if there are any jobs available.  I just can’t do this anymore.  I don’t like the drive.  I’m not a big fan of the office.  I don’t want to be there.  It’s obvious.”

     “Do you need anything else?” Rachel was on her rounds.

     “No, Rach, we’re good.” I smiled.  “Last wings until May.” 

     “Everything all right?” She asked.

     “Hibernation!”  I announced proudly.

     Tony rolled his eyes and Rachel just smiled.

     “You’ll be missed.”

     “Thanks, buddy.”

     “So what’s next?” Tony continued as Rachel took our empty plates.

     “I have no idea.  I have solid office experience.  I’ve been moderately successful but I’m also over 45, I’m black, and I know my worth.  That has been a turn off to some people.”

     “You’re right.  Solid office experience is a turn off.”  He shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes again.

     “You laugh.  I started putting out feelers when I turned 40.  I had 5 years in at the tech company.  I had won a few high profile deals.  Nothing.  I got the interviews but no offers.  When they let me go, also nothing.  I had built a multimillion dollar book from damn near nothing.  Nada.”

     “Embrace the suck.”

     “What?”

     “Embrace the suck.  You have to embrace the shitty aspects of the job until it gets better.”

     “Nope.  The suck can suck it.  That would be like paying for shitty wings when you know somewhere out there is a place that has really tasty wings.  

     “The last three jobs made great promises and delivered nothing.  I have nothing against long drives and long hours when you value what the outcome will be but right now thinking about leaving this job there is no love lost.  That’s how I know it’s time to go.”

     “I thought you were going to wait until May?”

     “I am but I have to put the feelers out now.  That’s why I haven’t cleared the contacts, yet.”

     “Well just be careful.  This China thing is starting to get crazy.  I mean really crazy.”

     “You sure it’s not just marketing shit?  Some type of large scale negotiation tactic?”

     “I mean crazy like not just in China crazy.  Amber mentioned more meetings are getting canceled with clients all over the world.”

     “We’ll see what happens.  Hope for the best.  Prep for the worst.  If I can’t find anything else by April the busy months at the firm are May, September, and October.  Between seminars and client visits I can possibly make it work through November.  The last 3 years have been hell.  Honestly how can 2020 be any worse?  Seriously.”

     I smiled and checked the screen time on my phone.  4 hours 35 minutes.  Tony rolled his eyes one last time and motioned to Rachel for the check.