The Prime Method

     “So it’s a contract,” said Marrianne blowing on her spicy tea.

     “Damn that tea smells good.  What flavors do you have other than cinnamon?”

     “Blueberry, lavender, vanilla, and green tea.”

     “I’d like to try the blueberry, please.”

     When she opened the tea tin the smell was amazing.  It actually smelled like fresh blueberries.

     “You got these at work?”

     Marrianne had had another banner year.  On top of a financial incentive, they liked to give little gifts they thought people would appreciate.  This year, along with a 5 figure bonus, she got a satchel of 5 hockey puck sized gourmet tea tins.  Each tin had a different flavor.  There were 3 to 5 tea bags per tin.  It was a tease of tasty teas.

     She also received a small jar of local high quality honey.

     “Yes.”

     “I’m sorry,” I said lost in the cinnamon scent.  “I swear it’s the last time I’ll talk about my new phone.  But yeah, that’s what I said, it’s a contract.  BUT at the same time it’s $200 less than if I bought the phone outright.”

     “Can’t really argue with that.”

     “AND,” I said waving a finger in the air, “I have early access to the newest phones when they come out.  I can trade in or swap out my…”

     “Contract,” she said, rolling her eyes as she finished my sentence.  “They’ll get you any way they can.  It’s not a ‘contract’ ,” she said making air quotes, “it’s an extended discount.  It’s all such bullshit.”

     When the hot water hit the blueberry scented satchel the smell jumped to another level.

     “Take this tea.  They offer a subscription service.  Different teas every month.  It can get expensive as hell.  They get you when they pair it with honey, or chocolates, or mugs.  That’s what’s gonna happen with your phone.  They’ll get you with the watch, the earbuds, the tablets.  You name it.

     “What are you gonna do next year when the latest and greatest comes out?”

     The tablespoon of organic honey melted into the steeping water as she lifted and replaced the teabag.

     “I thought about that and I have come up with the prime method.”

     “What is the prime method?”

     “Example: This is the 11.  Theoretically the next phone I would let myself buy is the 13,”

     “Which,” she said knowingly, “is riiiight about when the ‘not a contract’ will be at it’s end.”

     “Well, probably the 14, but yes. NOW I won’t buy it because the upgrade won’t be good enough.  Next phone I’ll probably look at is the…”

     “17,” she finished, shaking her head.

     “Yes,” I said snapping my fingers.  “Same goes for the tablet, earbuds, or the watch.  I should be good for the next 5 years provided the phone lasts that long.  I will literally be buying these things at their prime.”

     She just shook her head and sipped her tease of tasty tea