Basketball

     "And then," seethed Derich, "these clowns told me that they were actually EXPANDING my division!"
     We were getting together for the first time in a while.  His summer plans didn't quite work out.
     It had been a long couple of months.  Derich's company had decided he was far too valuable of an asset to let go.  They had expanded his division, increased his responsibilities, and given him more people to manage.  The only part missing was the salary increase.
    "Oh, Derich," he said mocking his bosses speech pattern, "once the Q4 earnings are out we'll have a better idea of how to take care of you.  We took a beating the last few quarters but we know you'll help us turn it around."
     "God damn it!!"  He continued in his own voice.  "I was doing just enough to make sure they would walk me out!  Jacobson was killing himself so I was sure they were going to keep him."
     "Who is Jacobson?" I asked while he paced back in forth in my living room.
     "He's the other team lead.  They hate him.  He doesn't play basketball during lunch.  He's in early.  He leaves late.  He eats lunch at his desk.  He does good work but he's not a team guy."    He looked out the window while the sun set on my porch.
     "We used to tell him to loosen up."
     "So what team did Jacobson get?" I asked out of curiosity even though I already knew the answer.
     "He was the first one they walked out.  At 3:50 they told him they had a 4:00 meeting about expanding the team leadership position.  By 4:05 they were walking him out the door.
     "They called me in at 4:15 and I was ready, man.  I had already told Karen that we could probably coast the month of August and some of September.  I sat there with a big smile on my face and then they told me that they were giving me most of Jacobson's team."
     I just put my face in my hands.
     "So let me see if I can get this right," I said trying not to laugh out loud.  "You put your feet up on your desk, play the occasional game of basketball with the boss, follow the team plan and they promoted you.  This Jacobson guy doubles down on the work, eats lunch at his desk, BUT he's not a team player so they walked him out?"
     I shook my head.  Derich looked out the window as the silent truth blanketed the room.
     "Blah, blah, blah.  Enough about me," he said changing the subject.  You were supposed to have that meeting about your job today.  How'd it go?"
     "Well," I said smiling.  "I don't play basketball."