Ramble

     "What the fuck?" Asked Derich.  "You were just going to let me ramble?  You were going to just let me bitch about having a job?"
     "You were venting," I responded waving my hands in the air.  "I wanted you to get what was bothering you off your chest."
     "This," he said wagging his finger, "this is the shit I'm talking about.  You are deep in your own head, my man."  He was now pacing back and forth.
     "You need to do one of two things now.  One call that friend in California and start writing or two call your boy in Hartford and get on that finisher job."
     "Finishing job."  I clarified
     "What?"
     "Finishing job.   This is the job with which I had hoped to finish my career.  I would have worked at my former job for the next five years and then go into my next gig with a certain level of gravitas due to my age and career history."
     "Whatever..."
     "Wait a minute.  You were just telling me how you were happy to have some time to yourself but I have to get a job right away?  I don't get it.  I'm going to be ok, for a little while at least.  Then something good will happen.  It always does."
     He sat on the couch and looked out the window of my living room.  The late September sun was streaming through the window.  It was still warm out but strangely you could tell it was going to be a rough winter.
     "You are a better man than I am."  He said quietly.  "As much as I was hoping to get the axe and the hush money I need the job.  We're not dying but we're in deep."
     I knew things were tight but opted not to say anything.  As loud as Derich was he still had his private spaces.
    "I get it.  Look at my house.  Look at the way I live.  I can take the hit for a while and be ok.  I didn't think I would still be here at this age.  I didn't think I'd live passed 40.  I look at every day as a gift.  I look at every moment as a new challenge that I can conquer.
     "I have an idea of what I need and what I have to do to make it happen.  I'm going to be all right.  So are you."
    "What do you mean?"  He said as the sun beamed off of his face.
    "You asked why I let you ramble.  I can point you in a specific direction and you get there with no problem or I can let you just go on until you find it yourself.  If you find your own way you can figure out the mistakes to avoid and you can pass that knowledge on to people who need it."
     "What the fuck..."
     "We all have different paths.  This is me rambling on mine and I'm going to be all right."