38 - Goals

          "There has to be something more to it than this," I said standing
on Stotler's back porch.  "I need some new goals."
     "Maybe that's something telling you to settle down," he said
taking a swig of his beer.
     "Who are you now, Dr. Phil?"  The machines hissed and sputtered.
     Things had just been slow lately.  I hadn't hooked up in a while
and I really didn't have any interest in anyone new.
     I still was chasing in Terry but she had found someone who had sparked
her interest.  Paris was never really an option there is so much there
but there is also so much missing that would make the relationship
work.  She's like a cross between Traci Lords and a young hot Martha Stewart.
     I was just so tired of the bar scene.  The last time I even felt
the "urge to merge" was at the wedding I attended in Maine.  She was
married and I had a seven hour drive home and no money for a hotel
room.
     I let the smoke roll out of my mouth and stared up at the stars.
     "You must be on crack.  I mean that this whole hooking up this has gotten
old.  I need to find a new way to approach it."
     "Maybe he's right," chimed in his younger brother.  It could be
time for you to settle down.  Look at me I've been with the same girl
for almost two years and I'm still happy."
     "Candy ass."   I said taking a deep drag of the American Spirit
red.  "Ignorance is bliss, kid.  Don't take this the wrong way but the
reason I'm not married or in a long term relationship is because I'm
not going to make some poor woman put up with the torture of being with my
ignorant ass.  Besides I keep telling you should experiment more."
     "Yeah but if he's happy why crush it for him," said Stotler
swatting at a moth.
     "How many girls have you been with?" I said pointing at the
younger Stotler.
     "Dude," said the older Stotler almost laughing, "this is my
younger brother!"
     "No listen to me.  I'm not saying that you have to bang every girl you can.
Not to say I haven't tried.  What I am saying by being with more than one person
... intimately ... you get a chance to find out what you like and don't like in
a relationship.  By being with more than say three or four people," I said
blowing smoke toward the younger Stotler, "you get to recognize things you don't
like sooner.  To me dating is like practice for marriage.  The more practice I
get the better I'll be at the real thing!"
     "Here we go," said the older Stotler.
     "I can give you the name and birthday of almost all of the women
I've slept with and what I do and don't like about them."
     "Almost all?"
     "There's a list."  Said the older Stotler opening a second beer. 
The moth was still flying between him and the light.
     "How big of a list?"
     "He won't say."  said Stotler.
     "It's not as bad as everyone thinks." I said trying to find
something interesting to look at on the porch.
     "How big?"
     "I'm missing five letters of the alphabet."
     "Dude," he said sounding like his older brother, "You've slept with
twenty-one people?!?"
     "There've been a few repeats." I said under my breath.  "That's not the
point.  I even admitted that it's getting old."
     "So why don't you try to complete the alphabet and the try setting down?"
     The three of us just looked at each other.  I had found my new goal.
     "I'll call it the name game." I said flicking my cigarette into the
darkness.

That Beautiful Black Man