Derich's beer almost shot out of his nose. "So this guy sent you a picture of his cock, and pictures of other black guys banging his wife?"
"Yes," I said taking a bite of my turkey club grinder. "How screwed up is that?"
"That has got to be the funniest thing I've heard all year. I think I might shit myself!"
"Thank you. I can't kill myself fast enough. You said this guy in your office always seems to have good luck, right?"
"Yeah! And he's a fucking geek. I'm not saying he has supermodels breaking down his front door but there are some really pretty women calling him. Who the hell did you go through anyway?"
Once again I did a quick scan of The Door to see if Connie was there. This was the first time I had been back to the bar since late summer. I wanted to ask our waitress if Connie still worked there but I thought better of it.
"I went to one of the friend finder sites. Since I've been unemployed I'm on line a lot. If I'm not looking for a job, I'm checking stocks, looking for apartments, and debating rolling out my 401k."
"You want to roll out your what? Your 401 cock?!?" He said covering his mouth with his napkin so food wouldn't shoot across the bar while he laughed out loud.
"Fuck you." I said shaking my head from side to side.
"Friend finder?!? Dude friend finder is the adult swinger site! You need to try something more reputable like eHarmony or even match.com. That's it match.com. That's who the geek goes through. You don't really want to do this shit anyway, do you?"
I pushed what was left of my food away and rested my elbows on the bar.
"You all set with this?" asked the bartender looking down at the scraps of bread and stray french fries dancing on the plate.
"Yeah. I'm fine," I said waving it away. "I'm all set." I took a good hard look in the mirror and pushed back to stretch. My back finally cracked a good loud crack.
"No," I said to Derich, "I have no real interest in an online hook up but I'm up for trying new shit. It's part of the rebirth, son. I want to expand the horizons. I want to find out what's out there."
"I've said it before," he said pushing his food away, "nothing is ever easy with you. Stop looking so hard for the meaning behind everything and just enjoy life."
"I'm not looking for the meaning as much as noticing it. These last few months I've been out of work I've had the chance to reflect on what I want, don't want, need, and don't need. It's been very cleansing." I relaxed my shoulders.
"This isn't the point where you tell me you've discovered God or Buddha or start chanting or some shit like that is it?"
"Fuck you, man. Nooo. This is going to be a good year for me." I said feeling for my American Spirits.
"I see what you mean." He pulled out his corporate card. "Don't worry. I got this."
"Thanks, man." I said taking the last swig of pineapple juice.
"Don't thank me. I'm just doing this so you don't have to roll out your 401 cock."
That Beautiful Black Man
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