I took a long slow drag on the American Spirit Yellow. The room
was so quiet that you could hear the tobacco and paper burning it's way
into my lungs. The room had collapsed to the point where there was no
space to wiggle. The shortest distance between two physical points is
a straight line. The distance between a question and the truth is just
as short but the road is sometimes much bumpier. I gently exhaled and
leaned forward to answer Kiki's questions and maybe some of my own.
"First of all, I am not banging Linda from The Yard. She
immediately put me in the 'friend zone' as soon as she met me. I look
at her like a little girl anyway, so it really doesn't matter. I do
want to bang most of her friends though." I said feeling the slick
smile cut across my face.
"You are shameless," she said putting the portable phone back into
it's cradle.
"I am the Initiator. I am the guy who can start a conversation
with damn near any woman who happens to be within earshot provided the
timing is right. My job is to break the ice for the friends I am with
at the moment in time. I am the ultimate wingman."
Kiki just looked at me and shook her head.
"As far as why I don't have a girlfriend, it's not like I haven't
tried. I've had quite a few girlfriends, even a wife or two. None of
them have been mine," I said smiling. Kiki's eyes became dagger
shooting slits. "OK two or three of the girlfriends were mine but none
of the wives."
"You are an asshole."
"Personal rejection year after year will do that to you. I just
got sick of being the emotional tampon. There's a girl named Caitlin
who wants everything I had to offer but she doesn't want it from me. I
am only good for a free dinner. In her mind I'm not worth banging or
dating but I am good for free food. She leaves me messages every once
in a while. She's at the bottom of the call back list, the very bottom.
"Connie's dad hates blacks, Tina got married and moved to Vietnam,
Terry wants me but she loves someone else, and D moved half way across
the country. She would be perfect, though."
"What about Paris?" She asked already knowing the answer.
I couldn't tell if the choking came from the smoke or the laughter.
"We both know that I am not rich enough, young enough, or pretty
enough for her. She likes them pretty and stupid."
"You are a beautiful black man," she said staring at me with her
piercing brown eyes.
"And you're drunk," I responded crushing my cigarette into the
ashtray. "If you were serious you'd kiss me." I said standing up to
stretch away the stress. The room had relaxed to it's original
comfortable state. When I opened my eyes from the deep reach Kiki was
standing face to face with me, her almond shaped eyes locked on mine.
The kiss was a long slow pull on my soul. It was though she were
trying to reach into the darkness and find the light. She smiled as
she stepped away.
"Do you believe me now?"
"I...I..."
"As much as I would love to, I can't sleep with you because I know
you slept with Paris." The room was so quiet that you could hear the
words burning their way into my brain.
That Beautiful Black Man
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