76 - The Last Great Act of Debauchery

     "So tell me about the job," said Marrianne as we sat in the Four
Brother's Restaurant.  "Are you happy with it?"  We were both late to lunch. 
She was late because she got lost.  I was late because I was spending some one on one
quiet time with a cute little waitress who was having a bad night.  I was testing the
Catalyst to Happiness theory.  No luck.
     "It's the same old same old.  I was gung ho against corporate America and here I
am sitting at a desk every day, trying to make 'goal' every month so I can keep management
happy.  Yeah balls.
     "The only good thing is that there's a chance that I could make some half way
decent cash if this pans out.  That’s the really good thing about sales jobs, the money
can be absolutely ridiculous."
     She rolled her eyes and shook her head.  Her brunette locks flipped from side to
side.
     "What am I going to do with you?  When are you going to settle down and get
yourself a little chickie?"
     I sat back and took a long hard look at the ceiling.  I thought about Connie.  I
thought about the rebirth and the five month fight against corporate America.  I thought
about waiting patiently for the national tour that never took place (the reason I went
back to corporate America in the first place) and I thought the fact that I had just hit
my mid thirties.  The only bad thing about being in your mid thirties is that you have
only a limited amount of times you can destroy and rebuild yourself.
     "I've come to the realization that I am not worth 'a little chickie'.  It's been
thirty-something years, kid.  If it was going to happen it would have happened by
now."  I was trying to play the self pity ploy.
     "Oh shoo.  Stop it.  I didn’t send out any invitations for an itty bitty
pity party.  You need to be more positive.  You know my fiancé said the same thing until
we got together.  He used to say 'It will never happen I should just be content with my
life as it is.'"
     "That's the thing; I’m kind of content where I am.”  I explained the catalyst to
happiness idea to her and watched her eyes roll into the back of her head.  Then I
prepared to lay out my grand plan, the last great act of debauchery I would commit.
     “I will settle down but I have one last thing to do.  The name game was too hard to
get through especially with the letters I had left to complete.  The year of oral left me
with some wonderful skills and a great appreciation for breath mints/gum/mouthwash you
name it.”
     “Do you need anything else?” asked the attractive older Eastern European waitress.
     “I think I need a shower,” said Marrianne holding her head in her palms.
     “Oh, come on!  I haven’t even gotten to the good part!”
     “I’ll come back in a few minutes,” said the waitress confused by the chaos.
     “Is there a good part to this?”
     “You wanted to know when I plan to settle down and I’m trying to tell you what I need
to do before I settle down.  It will happen after I turn thirty-six.  I will have one year
to complete my task.”  I exhaled slowly.
     “Oh, just get it over with.”
     “I want to legally sleep with a woman who is half my age.”
     “Check Please!”
     “You asked me what I wanted to do before I settled down and I’m telling you.  I’m
being as honest with you as possible.  I know it sounds like the same bullshit but this is
the last great fling.”  I sold it with everything I had because at that moment in my mind
it was true.
     “What am I going to do with you?”
     Her ice blues cut deep into my soul as I sat wide open.
     “Just realize it’s not the same old same.  I’m tired of sitting in a small corner of
my life trying to make goal to keep other people happy.  I know it’s not a perfect plan
but if I concentrate on making my life better the payoff can be absolutely ridiculous.”

That Beautiful Black Man