51 - Welcome Back

     "Welcome back."  I said as I walked through Stotler's new apartment.  It
was a nice little place located in Condo Central, CT.  Bedroom, office, kitchen,
living room, what else does a guy need?
     "Well," I said pulling the Spirits out of my pants pocket, "at least it has
a porch.  I just think you should have bought a house.  I like the place but I
just can't stand the thought of all of these fucking people around."
     "Weren't you considering moving to New York?" he asked stepping on to the
porch.  He cracked open a beer and took a solid swig.
     "New York is different.  You may have all of these people living around but
nobody gives a damn about you or what you do.  This place, you can't fart
without someone two apartments over talking about yoOOOhhhhh I see you have a
view of the pool."  I said switching gears as two treadmill friendly, bikini
clad females made themselves comfortable.
     "I now see some of the appeal of this place."  I let the smoke trail over
the railing.
     "They're married." He said waiving the smoke away.
     "To each other?  Nice this gets more exciting by the moment."
     "NO, asshole, I know their husbands.  They..."
     "Don't tell me.  I have no interest in what sausage does for a living."
     "So let me get this straight," he said changing the subject, "you're
hanging out with some twenty year old girl who likes you to go to yoga classes
with her?"
     I took a long deep drag. 
     "She's twenty-one," I said leaning against the railing.  "Just had a
birthday Saturday.  You know you should put an ashtray out here."  I flicked the
ashes into the wind.
     "Dude, you're the only one who smokes and you've only been here twice in
eight months."
     "I might be here more if there were an ashtray.  Anyway, I've only been to
yoga once..."
     "What, no ashtrays there either."
     "That was quick.  I like that.  Very funny."
     "Is she hot?"
     "Surprisingly."
     "Nice, you're dating a twenty year old girl."
     "Correction; I'm her side piece.  She's got a steady boyfriend."
     The treadmill friendly females slowly turned over onto their stomachs and
we were both caught off guard.
     "Side piece?!?"
     "Welcome back to the world of the single guy.  Dates are hard to come by.
The bar scene has gotten tired.  We are now the old guys at the club.  Doesn't
get much better than that.  A pretty girl makes eye contact with me lately and
I'm the happiest guy on the planet."
     "Seriously?"
     "No.  It's not that bad but the competition is fierce."
     "I'm not ready for this bullshit.  Maybe if we worked a little harder
marriage I..."  he put his beer on the railing and the smoke rolled around it.
     "Don't.  Just don't.  Somethings just aren't meant to be.  Bask in the
right now.  You've got the killer bachelor pad, a good job, the nice yet
slightly gay car, your health, those two hot asses down by the pool, and most of
all a new found freedom.  Just one thing missing."
     "What's that?" he asked taking another drink.
     "A fucking ashtray."  I flicked the ashes into the wind.

That Beautiful Black Man